Below is the tribute to Abby I delivered on Monday, June 16th at Abby's memorial service at UHS softball field. I couldn't get over how many people were there for this wonderful girl.  What an amazing outpouring of support for someone so young, who touched SO many. Well done Abby... "good and faithful servant."

Brian and Cheri, Emma and Katherine, family, friends, Unionville High School and all of us here to celebrate Abby's life.My name is Jen Croneberger and I am the Unionville varsity softball coach. Life with Abby for me, began 3 years ago --her freshman year, and mine as well, here at Unionville.

We rode the rollercoaster together and had our share of ups and downs. She was the only kid who knew how to push my buttons the way she did. The best part was that I knew how to push hers too.. And as we both later grew to understand, there was a reason we were brought together. Coaching a team of high school girls is never easy, but it's the most rewarding thing I have done in my life. As any family, there is sibling rivalry, boy drama, friend miscommunications, all of which seem trivial now.

Abby had a strong will, and sometimes could be hard headed, as can I. But I would soon realize that we would find a connection that runs deep... and runs forever.

Abby taught me patience. She taught me about big hearts and huge smiles. She taught me how much a simple hug could mean, even for just no reason.

That rollercoaster continued. injury and illness plagued her a few times, but she got through it and came back to get the game-winning hit in our last game of the season which tied us for second place in our division, a huge accomplishment. I told her that day how proud I was of her, and how I was so happy to see her evolve and change and grow. on the field, and off the field.

It was the beginning of may when we had our breakthrough and our rollercoaster took a turn for the good. She texted me, as Abby was always very good at, and said "Sorry to bother you coach jen, but was curious as to when our practice would be if it rains tomorrow?" I responded back and said "Abby, you are never a bother to me."

That was the day that changed everything. We talked for what seemed like forever that night and from that day on, we talked or texted or emailed almost every day since. One night she said that she always thought I didn't like her or didn't care but realized then that it was because I DID like her and DID care that I pushed her the way I did. She thanked me for doing so.

I got messages from her asking for advice, asking how my day was, wondering what I was doing. Setting up times to come visit me at ETC, asking when she could come "hit" which we know for all of you means "sit in my office and chat," which I love just as much.

She was supposed to be there last Friday for her pitching lesson. I couldn't wait to see her to get my hug.she called me her other mom and her best friend this past month.

All of our conversations always ended with the same thing.. Me saying "Abby, just as long as you make good choices, you will always work things out." And her saying, "Thanks so much for everything," and the standard "Love ya , mean it." One night it was late and I was going to bed and she texted me to tell me about her day, and how she felt great that day. that things were going right for her and she was really happy. She thanked me for the conversation the day before that prompted it. I left her by saying "Catch ya on the flip side".. And she responded and said, "FLIP SIDE? Coach, You are too cool".. And we laughed as she teased me about that for days. We both said it to each other as a joke between us, but realized how much meaning it actually had. how much our relationship had actually changed and flipped around.

She emailed me in the middle of May and thanked me again for everything, as she did almost every day, reminding me of the great big heart she had, that thankful and caring side. She said, "Thanks again for everything, I've learned so much this season, not only about the game, but myself as well. And you, and life lessons and I think you got to know me a little better. And thank you for not judging me. Love ya mean it and Ill catcha on the flip side.?Abby."

I got to know the caring side of Abby these past two months, and I have loved every minute of it.

I came here to the field on Saturday before the team was to meet in the library together. It was a little after 9am and I had some time before I needed to get inside. I came and sat here on the bench and was amazed at the peacefulness I felt. It was so quiet, no people, no cars, nothing. It was serene. As I got lost in thought looking out over the field, I had been asking Abby to send me a sign, to just let me know she's ok.. I asked the night before, and again that morning. and it was almost like I was just waiting..and out of nowhere, came this big, beautiful, bright yellow butterfly. It flew right in front of me, then stopped and hovered for about 5 seconds, then flew off over the field. It reminded me of the quote that hangs on the wall at ETC, "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."

I smiled, and knew right then she was ok.

Let me close by mentioning that roller coaster. We all find ourselves on it right now... life is sometimes unrelenting that way. But it is in the comfort of each other that we find meaning and love, and the ability to make some sense out of something that makes no sense.

Harvey Fierstein was talking about the new Broadway play he is in called "A Catered Affair." In it he sings a song that had meaning to him when he was a kid growing up in Brooklyn.  He was scared to ride the roller coaster at Coney Island. His uncle told him to just ride it so he could say he did. After much persuasion, he finally got on even through his fear..he finally rode the roller coaster. But he kept his eyes closed for the whole ride. After he was done and his uncle asked him how it was, Harvey told him that he didn't open his eyes until it was over. To which his uncle responded, "You took the ride. you paid your money. but you missed the view."

Abby took the ride, she paid her dues.. But she lived life with her eyes wide open.. she didn't miss the view.

Abby, I do love you, and I do mean it.. And I WILL catcha on the flip side. That's a promise kiddo. God bless you all.

I read constantly. If I don't have 3 or 4 books going at once, check my pulse, because something is wrong.

I listen to cd's in my car on my daily journey. Not usually music, but many about success and about building a life worthwhile, some about business and marketing, about fitness, and mental skills, etc... but most importantly, at any given time at least ONE if not more of the 6 cd's in my cd changer are to enrich my life. I have 5 books on my nightstand currently: The Dip (Seth Godin), For One More Day (Mitch Albom), The Magic of Thinking Big (David Schwartz)--I've read this one a few times in my life, and my Applied Sports Psychology text which, by the technical understanding of behavioral control and operant conditioning or antecedents, aversive or extinction control, anyone would use this as an effective form of sleep enhancement.

It's not hard to do either of these things. I just hit play while I drive... or I pick the book up off the night stand and read before I fall asleep. (These nights are now easier than most with the 4:30am rise time).

We, as a society, spend so much time filling our heads with useless, unimportant and even damaging "stuff" that it is so critical to make sure we feed our souls with something worth while.

So off of my soap box and onto my food for thought this week:

I am reading this book called "The Dip"...And wow, I was actually fighting my eyes last night so I could read more. I didn't want to put it down. It's a very short read and I just got it yesterday. I am about done with it.

In it, Godin talks about how every new project or job or undertaking starts out with high momentum, excitement and involvement. Then, it starts to dwindle, it gets harder, and all of a sudden you wonder if it's worth pushing through and sticking it out. "The Dip" is when you hit that point, that temporary set-back that could be overcome if you just keep pushing.

It's funny, but we were always taught the saying "winners never quit and quitters never win"... While I support that in many ways, Godin suggests that it's not entirely always right. He talks about what he calls a "cul-de-sac", where no matter how hard you try to push out of it, there is no way it will ever work. This is when he explains you should quit.

I remember a mentor of mine sharing a quote with me that I hold dear to this day, and some of you have heard me use it... "When the horse is dead, dismount." Get off when it's time, and move on to another horse. Who wants to ride a dead horse around... that's the cul-de-sac mentality. You surely aren't going to get very far. 

So "The Dip" is all about when to quit and when to stick it out. It's amazing how simple the thought is, and how many times we may have found ourselves in these situations wondering what to do, knowing that quitting didn't seem like an option. We would even feel guilty, like we were letting people, including ourselves, down if we quit.

So I liken this to the building issue I have been going through. I knew we were in a dip, but what I know realize is that it was a cul-de-sac and there really wasn't a way out. Even if we got the place, it was smaller than I had wanted, the parking wasn't great, and the logistics just didn't work. We were set on making it work there because we didn't see another option. I am a firm believer in things happening for reasons sometimes we dont fully understand up front.

As it were, I went to meet a realtor on Friday at a location off of rte 82 & 30 in Valley Township. It actually quickly made me forget about anything else and realize that this could be the PERFECT spot for what my bigger vision was.

So much so that I am meeting with the owners today and going to look at the option of finding some investors or financial backers that may be interested in helping us make this dream a reality.

My vision has always been big. I know what we offer and could offer in a facility like this would be nothing anyone around here has ever seen.

I have so much to give, and it is my hope that we can find a way to make this happen so I can continue to give it. I believe I have only scratched the surface of what I can deliver to the youth of this area.

So the search is on... for financial backing, for help, for knowing I see the light at the end of the tunnel and getting out of this dip is how my vision becomes reality.

Godin states, "No one quits the Boston Marathon at Mile 25"...

I believe we are at mile 25. I see it, I feel it, and it has kept me awake all weekend. There is a HUGE light at the end of the tunnel. There are big options and an abundance of possiblilities.

I am hoping to find a way to make it happen.

But either way, I am finding my way out of the dip!

AND... I am Enjoying the process!

--Coach Jen

In your lifetime, you will have 10 defining moments, make 7 critical choices and meet 5 pivotal people. I believe that your journey in life is about recognizing who and what they are.

Let's start with the first one... a "DEFINING MOMENT" is that thing that stands out in your life when you were changed... in that moment, you became someone new. Up until that point, your self identity was one thing and became something different after.

How many defining moments can you think of? Go ahead... really. Think about them. We are often so afraid to answer the hard questions. So I will give you a moment to do so.

"CRITICAL CHOICES" are those that you make that change your life forever. Some come a second after the defining moment.

Maya Angelou has a saying that I love: I can change by what happenes to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. That, to me, is a critical choice. It's about CHOOSING to react or not react to something that happens TO YOU. We all have that right, and can exercise it freely. These choices can also come in unexpected ways and unfamiliar times. Trust in the fact that you will always be where you are called to be in that moment.

"PIVOTAL PEOPLE" are those that affect your life, both positively and unfortunately negatively as well. They are the ones who's roots run deeper in your soil, grounding your tree with more solid force, unshakeable in their intent.These are not the people who come and go in your life like an autumn breeze rustling just your leaves.

They are your parents, your family members, your teachers and coaches, your friends, and even people you don't know. Everyone has the chance to affect a life. EVERY ONE!!! So think of that next time you do something that could be someone else's defining moment, was it positive or negative?  Are you making choices that harm or choices that help? Are you being the wind in the leaves, or the roots to hold solid the tree?

Each of us has a purpose. Each of us has someone who can benefit by what we do, what we say, and most importantly, who we are. Hold fast that which is good, and be firmly planted in your choices.

But no matter what, know that nothing else matters unless you choose to do so.

Today is a great place to start...

Enjoy the process!

--Coach Jen

MLB playoffs are in the air... ahh, I LOVE October baseball. It's been a privelege for me to be able to root for my Yankees every year since I can remember. Some years for much longer than others, but they always seem to find a way to make the playoffs This year, the Phillies made their way in, and while I am a die-hard Yankees fan, I can remember being a very small child in Phillies gear, sitting on the back porch with my great grandmother who was quite possibly the biggest Phillies fan I have ever known. We sat and listened to the games on the radio together... ON THE RADIO... That even amazes me, and I was there! A 5 year old paying attention to a radio for hours. I must have been a phanatic about baseball even then...

It's called passion. That is what made me leave my good paying corporate job and office to get back to sports and athletes and all that made me strive to be better. It's a passion. It moves me and drives me and makes me wake up at 4:30am every day to work with others who want to find the BEST of themselves.

Some days are harder than others... some days we are the windshield and other days we are the fly. Life never informed you it would be without "splatter moments", did it? Passion is what holds it all together. If your WHY is strong enough, the HOW doesn't matter.

What is your passion? Are you living it?

Life needs to be played, not just watched or listened to...

I spent most of my early childhood listening to baseball on the radio, then started to see it on TV, then actually went to games. I LOVED it. And then, I stepped foot on the field and I have never gotten rid of those red clay dirt stains on my socks. In fact, all these years later my new socks still manage to have the same stains.

Helping others find that same fire is my passion. Enjoy it... all of it. Because at the end of the day, it's all we will ever have.

Enjoy the process,

Coach Jen

One of my favorite quotes has always been this:

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, faith is believing one of two things will happen. You will find something solid to stand on, or you will learn to fly."

I could just say have a great day and leave you with that... it's that powerful a quote in my opinion. But of course, I can't do that...

In life, in business and relationships, sometimes a risk is worth taking...

It's amazing how much time we spend being afraid.

I spent a few hours on a saturday a few weeks ago working with the girl from MADE who wanted to be a motocross racer. We talked much about fear... and what happens to us when we let it build up and escalate. Part of my work with her was having her stand on the edge of a picnic table, with her back to me. There were three of us standing below her. I told her to fall back and we would catch her. She was petrified. To the point of shaking.

She's deathly afraid of roller coasters, it's a legitimate fear of her's. And she turned around at least 30-40 times to make sure our arms were still there. It took over an hour... we stood and waited.

She stressed out, panicked, relaxed, and then stressed out again. Her mind completely took over the process. It was amazing to watch.

I slowly kept raising my hands to her back so she could almost know I was there. She wasn't even going to fall far... it was inches until she met my hands. What amazed me was that as soon as she felt my hands behind her, she started to feel it was ok to let go.

Ahhh... there is that funny thing called faith. Kind of like trust... we never really know when we will fly and when we will find that solid ground. And then there is the falling...

I don't remember when I was learning to walk, but have certainly watched most of my 10 neices and nephews start or go through this process. Of course, they don't know any better, and fall constantly, get up and go again until they fall and start over. Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they cry, but always, they get back up.

We forget so easily what this was like, the process of learning to walk. Falling and getting up was as common as the late morning naps or the bottle to soothe the tears.

I don't think life is that different now. Really, if I wasn't afraid to fall then, why should I be now? What stops us? Is it lack of FAITH???

Stop worrying about the what ifs...Learning to walk was a while ago for most of us, and each day it's a further and further memory. What would happen if you take that chance you have been contemplating? Make that big change in your life? Take that leap? Jump... and see what happens... why are we so afraid of that?

How many times have you settled for something that isn't entirely what you want, but you are too afraid to find another road to go down?

Hmmm... Anything worth living for is a risk...  "Ships in a harbor are safe, but that's not what ships are built for."

Faith is believing that as soon as you leap, the answers will appear. You can bulid your wings on the way down...

So about that... what's holding you back? What would you change right now if you knew you couldn't fail....?

It may be just about time...  

"Come to the edge," he said.

They said, "We are afraid."

"Come to the edge," he said.

They came.

He pushed them.

And they flew.

--Guillaume Apollinaire

Enjoy the process!

--Coach Jen

I teach my students to take control of their own confidence level by being proactive and accepting responsibility  for their thoughts and beliefs. Some athletes who are talented physically gain a lot of confidence based on talent. Some athletes train hard and develop confidence from training. A strong foundation, such as a past success, will give you a strong foundation and will build your confidence. You must be able to tap into the sources of confidence that have the most meaning for you and review these confidence boosters often, even befor eyou compete.

 A confidence resume should be based on your past success, accomplishments, strong parts of your game, and any other source that supports your confidence. To develop a confidence resume, develop a long list of the reasons you should feel confident. Write your resume based on the following questions:

1. What are your strengths as an athlete?

2. What have others complimented you on in your sport?

3. What have you accomplished in your sport that makes you most proud?

4.How would you describe your skills to others if you took the most positive stance possible?

5. What can you say about your training that gives you confidence?

6. What can you say aobut your commitment or work ethic in sports?

7. How are others supportive of your sport that helps you feel confident?

Write those out and you will have your resume. And I am sure you will realize you have A LOT to be confident about. Take that with you as you step up to the plate, the free-throw line, or onto any court or field. You OWN it. Believe in that.

Another month gone... where does the time go??

From the Neck up...

"The Most important attribute a player must have is mental toughness." --Mia Hamm

As I quickly approach another birthday, it becomes really evident to me that growing old is just as much in the mind as it is in the body.

I spent some of my holiday weekend helping my sister clean out her house to prepare for re-construction and my parents' move in. The other part of my weekend was spent on the golf course, a place I love.... most days.

Sunday proved to me that sport is most certainly mental. And while I had a somewhat terrible day on the scorecard, I had fun learning to hit my brand new golf clubs that I received as an early birthday present. It wasn't all bad. It was just... not all great.

I took the time to remember that most of life is about the process, not just the outcome.

And so it is with goal-setting, playing a game, practicing, and competing at any level. The most important goals you can set are process goals, or ones which you are developing task-oriented approaches to sports, not outcome goals, or ones in which we focus on winning, or a certain score, etc. Process goals work on improving our performance, not setting a bar that we will either hit or miss (win or lose).

I remembered that as I walked up to the 14th tee. I focused on hitting THAT particular tee shot with no stress in my shoulders, focussing in on the dimples of the ball as I swung, being totally in the zone with the ball. And yes, it was my best drive of the day...

See, you can always start over. It doesn't matter what hole you are on, or what minute of the game the clock says it is, or how many innings are left to play, or most certainly...how old you are. You can CHOOSE to start NOW in creating the atmosphere you want.

This fall, my Peak Performance Training program will help show you how to do all of that... and will bring to you ideas and exercises that will completely change your game.

NO matter what YOUR game is...

See you at the top of your game,

Coach Jen

It never fails. I sit down to write this newsletter, never knowing what the most important thing is to share with you this week, and something just hits me.  

Try this on... 

"What's the definition of luck?" Or at least my definition of luck...?

It's when preparation meets opportunity.

Hmm...meaning what exactly? 

Think about it. You prepare for a long time, you practice and practice. And you take advantage of opportunities that come along. Isn’t that life? Or any game you dare to play? 

I think it’s easy to do the preparation part. We can all control that. Remember CTC? “Control the controllables?” We can prepare and do the work. But sometimes we can’t control when the opportunities will come along. I have learned to always be prepared. You will be able to recognize those chances simply because you are ready and waiting.

Have you ever felt it was just "your time" to do something? Or have you ever looked at someone and said... "Wow... they are so lucky!" Envy is something that should never even happen.

You can be lucky too. You just need to be prepared.  

That person you see that's so lucky, most likely spent the time and energy getting to where they are. The opportunity was right, and they succeeded. "Luck" in that sense, was earned and worked for. Think about some times in your life where you felt lucky. There was a reason for that.  

As always, I am going to use a real-life story:

My phone rang this afternoon and I was too busy to answer it. Nothing too unusual for me. I finally had a chance to check my voicemail. It happened to be a producer from MTV's show MADE. They are working on an episode in DE with a girl from a local HS who wants to be MADE into a motocross racer. She is working with Val Whiting, a personal friend and fellow trainer in Wilmington. Val's experience is amazing, and as a former WNBA star, she brings instant credibility and knowledge to her training studio. She is not only a great athlete and trainer, but an awesome human being, and if you ever have a chance to meet and learn from Val, (which I hope you will soon at my Grand Opening) she is really something special. I look forward to bringing you some of her expertise as well! Anyway, back from my tangent... As Val is going to be working with the student on a physical level, I was called to be her mental skills/fear coach and work with her on the mental aspect of conquering her fears. I gladly accepted and know that my preparation has met opportunity. I have been waiting to take this to a larger scale, a higher level. See, I am a firm believer in persistence and patience. The two “P’s” you can’t succeed without. 

I am excited to be putting together my PPT(Peak Performance Training) program for teams this fall and will be delivering it to you at a very HIGH level. That is why I have put so much time and energy into it. This, to me, is my baby. It's what I have been working on for the better part of two years. And when I release it to the public, you won't believe what it will do for the athletes who utilize it. 

So, there... when preparation meets opportunity. Funny, it’s kind of what the whole MTV show is about. Turning dreams into reality. Being MADE into someone you want to be, and finding people around you to help you do that.

Luck.  

It’s not a bad four letter word if you have learned how to play your hand.

Enjoy the process!

--Coach Jen